


Unspoken Words

by lizzybizzyzzz



Series: Precious Peter Parker, Punctured Peter Parker, and Especially Everything In-Between [8]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Character Death, Dead May Parker (Spider-Man), Dead Peter Parker, Hurt Peter Parker, Hurt Tony Stark, Hurt/Comfort, Parent Pepper Potts, Parent Tony Stark, Peter Parker Feels, Peter Parker Has a Family, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker is a Little Shit, Post-Spider-Man: Homecoming, Precious Peter Parker, Pregnancy, Protective Tony Stark, Sad, Teen Peter Parker, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Gets a Hug, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Daddy Issues, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-12
Updated: 2018-07-26
Packaged: 2019-06-09 04:47:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15259758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lizzybizzyzzz/pseuds/lizzybizzyzzz
Summary: Peter smiled, that big smiled Tony would never get enough of. He soaked it in, trying to remember every smile and laugh the kid had. Tony regretted every time he didn't return that smile. Every time he brushed it off as idolization or plain stupidity because he'd never seen someone smile so much. "Tony, I'm sorry."Tony cupped the boys face in his bloody hands. He wishes it wasn't Peter blood. He wishes he wasn't in this scenario, he would take anything. Anything. "You can apologize when you pick another shitty movie tomorrow night. It is your pick after all."Peter chuckled, then winced in pain. "Please, don't- don't miss me too much, m'kay?"





	1. Four Minutes of Hell and a Forever in Heaven

"Mr. Stark," Peter said, gasping as he held the blood-spurting wound. "I-I don't feel so good." Tony sucked in a breath, frozen and horrified as Peter stumbled into him. He came back to himself and lowered Peter into his lap. He scanned Peter for anything but pain, and for once he didn't find anything. The kid was shaking and pale, sweat rippled down his face. "Mr. Stark." He breathed. 

"FRIDAY, read vitals. Scan for injuries." Tony said, even though he knew the injuries. 

"Emergency medical assistance on the way. Heart rate and blood pressure is low, multiple injuries that will be fatal in approximately 4 minutes."

 _Four minutes._ Four minutes. Tony fought the lump in his throat when he saw Peter close his eyes.  _Don't do this to me, kid._  

"Hey," He lightly slapped Peter cheek, his eyes opening slowly. "Stay with me, kid. You're gonna be okay."

Peter looked up at him, tears trailing his cheeks. "I don't want to die. I'm scared, sir. Please!" He breathed, it came out so raspy it sounded like he was a smoker.  "Help me!"

"You're not dying Peter."  _Because how would I live without you._ "Just look at me." 

He calmed down instantly and Tony decided that it was definitely worse. "Okay, Mr. Stark."

Tony tried for a smile. If he didn't act like Peter was dying, then Peter wouldn't die. "Call me Tony kid, it's been what... two years? I think we're there."  _I'd rather correct you a million times than have this be the last time._

"Two and a half." Peter corrected him. Tony wiped the tears off his kids' cheeks. "In my desk drawer there's a post-it note with baby names that I-" He coughed, blood came out of his mouth with a sickening rattle. "That I thought you'd like." He swallowed painfully. 

Tony wanted to cry, scream and the universe,  _anybody but Peter._   He didn't know how he could be a dad again, how he could think of caring about another person how he cared about Peter. He can't live without Peter he can't- "How about you tell me them in person."  _I can't be a parent if you're gone, anyway._

Peter ignored him. "And-and  there's a note to Ned. I wish I told him I loved him. I was so in love..." His voice cracks, more tears falling that Tony quickly wipes away. 

"You're gonna tell him, Pete. I promise you will if you stay awake with me."  _He's so young, so little, so lovable._

Peter wheezed and took his hand off his wound, blood seeping everywhere. Tony instead, pressed a firm hand there. "You can't give up on me, Pete." Tony said, tears finally escaping. "Peter."  _I don't want to see anything else in the world knowing you aren't in it._ "Kid." 

Peter smiled, that big smile Tony would never get enough of. He soaked it in, trying to remember every smile and laugh the kid given him. Tony regretted every time he didn't return that smile. Every time he brushed it off as idolization or plain stupidity because he'd never seen someone smile so much. "Tony, I'ts not your fault," another wheeze, "I'm sorry."  _I'll blame myself forever._

Tony cupped the boys face in his bloody hands. He wishes it wasn't Peter's blood. He wishes he wasn't in this scenario, he would take anything. Anything. "You can apologize when you pick another shitty movie tomorrow night. It is your pick after all."  _I don't want to do anything without you, even if I wanted to move on I couldn't._

Peter chuckled, then winced in pain. "Please, don't- don't miss me too much, m'kay?" 

"Please, Pete." The name was bitter in his mouth. Peter's liveliness would have made it sweeter than sugar but that wasn't the case.  _I need you, you have to be okay for me._  

Peter wheezed and closed his eyes, earning another soft hit from Tony. He opened them slowly, they were glassy and dull. "I love you, dad." He breathed. Peter's chest didn't lift again. 

Tony sobbed, pulling the boy closer. "Wake up, Pete. You have to wake up for me, please!" He cried.  _I love you too, son._ "Peter." He cried. 

Tony never told Peter he loved him. Tony never told him how much he cared, he didn't think he would ever have to. He'd never tell Peter that he always had a stock of his favorite ice cream and snacks. He never even got to tell him Pepper was pregnant, but he knew. Peter always knew. Peter always listened, he always loved. When Tony was passed out in his lab littered with food wrappers, Peter always cleaned and cared for him. Tony would scream and kick at Peter after his nightmares, but the kid would be there when he came to, always with a glass of water and a soft smile. Tony remembers the day he saw Peter standing on his balcony- 

_"What did the rail ever do to you?" Tony asked with a chuckle, slowly coming behind Peter's rigid form. He placed a soothing hand on the tense muscles in his back and rubbing them. The gesture always calmed them, grounded the distressed teenager._

_Peter didn't smile and kept his gaze on the horizon line. "Just got carried away." He said, his voice was deep and sad unlike Tony had ever heard it. Peter moved his hands away from the dented metal, sliding it away from him. "I'm sorry, sir. It won't happen again."_

_Tony took a deep breath. "Look at me, Pete." He said sternly. "Peter."_

_Peter looked at him, eyes brimmed with tears. He gulped and held the older man's gaze. "I know your busy, why're you even-"_

_"Because it's you!" Tony shouted, letting his anger get the best of him. He hated that he just did that, and that Peter flinched away from him. "Peter," He said softly this time. He wouldn't make another frustrated-outburst mistake again. "I always have time for my boy." Tony held Peter's face gently, swiping away his kids' tears with his thumbs._

_Peter put his smaller hands over Tony's calloused and rough ones. Tony couldn't help but realize how much of just everything Peter was and would be. The kid is his entire world, and now would permanently be. No matter what happens-_

"Peter." He sobs, one last time. One last time before he has no more tears to cry and he screams himself hoarse. His world was gone, the heartbreak would last for the rest of his life. How could he breath know that Peter wasn't sharing the oxygen? How could he go back to the compound knowing that Peter would never again be in the room that was just across he hall? How could he look at Peter's extra suits, how could he look at his own knowing Peter had helped make them? How would Tony love his son when he'd already lost his other one? Tony was scared to be like his dad, but his dad had never lost a son. His dad never held Tony like Tony held Peter. Howard had never-

_Tony draped the blanket across Peter's sleeping form, careful not to wake him. The kid was always sleeping somewhere. Tony gently sat next to his head, taking it in his lap. Kids' hair was getting shaggy. He combed the brown locks and massaged the kids scalp._

_Peter hummed in delight. "I love when you do that." He whispered, blush evident on his freckled cheeks._

_Tony rolled his eyes and smiled. "I know." He said cockily. Peter only giggled more, making music to his mentor's ears._

_"I'm hungry." Peter complained, he made no effort in moving anytime soon._

_"I'll order you some food later." Tony said, draping his other arm comfortably across Peter's chest._

_Peter sighed. "I'll eat when I wake up." He smiled contently._

_Tony gaped, but didn't stop his hand movements. "I don't see how you need so many naps, all you do is sleep!" He grumbled._

_It was no used, Peter was already asleep and snuggling himself closer to Tony._

_Tony could stay like this-_

Forever. Tony couldn't live without his son forever. He wouldn't come back from this, he wouldn't move on. He pressed his lips against the boys cold temple, hoping to bring him back. Hoping that it would make his big brown eyes flutter open so Tony could see them sparkle again. He kissed Peter's forehead, then his temple again. Yet, he wasn't moving. Lifeless. He would- 

_Blush. Peter blushed when Tony pressed a small kiss into his hairline. "I'm sorry for making you worry."_

_Tony pulled Peter into his into a bone-crushing hug, yet it was soft. Peter sighed nuzzled into Tony's next. He curled his small hands into the back of his shirt, making Tony shiver. "I had to get the grey hairs eventually, kid." He tried to shove away the warmth he felt, the absolute adoration for the teenager in his arms. Peter only laughed and hugged him tighter._

_"It's a good look on you."  Peter said, chuckling._

_"Shut it, kid." Tony groaned, hiding his big smile. This_ _kid-_

He took a deep breath. "I love you too, son." 

_I love you in a world that is without you._

 

 


	2. Nothing New to Replace You

"Tony!" Pepper quips, hugging him tightly. 

_"Tony..." Peter mumbled, letting his head roll into Tony's chest. "Can walk myself." He pushes the man away only to fall back into his mentors arms._

_Tony chuckled and grabs his arms. "I'm sure you can, kid."_

_Peter nods and ignores how Tony is carrying him despite his earlier protests. He snuggles right into the man and now Tony has to ignore the warmth seizing his heart. The boy is humming and fiddling with his shirt._

_Once he has Peter situated on the couch, the kid uses the last of his energy to crawl next to Tony, resting his head in his lap. Tony smiles and lets his hands run through the boys messy curls._

_"I'm not mad at you, kiddo." Tony whispers, as to not disturb Peter._

_The teenager hums and pats Tony's chest. "Mmmm'kay."_

"I heard about Peter." 

Tony drops his arms and takes a step back, not caring about the sad look she's giving him. 

Peter Parker deserved  _everything_ , he is everything. He gave everyone a second chance, he would die for a criminal. Peter died for him, and Tony almost  _hated_ him for it. Every time Tony tried to think about Peter in disgust he found a lump in his throat and a shot glass between his fingers. Peter didn't deserve Tony's hate and he felt bad for even thinking about his kid in a negative way. Peter would haunt him forever and Tony wouldn't have it any other way.

"At least you're safe. We couldn't do it without you."

 _We._ His biological child. His and Pepper's child. The one he didn't tell Peter about, but the kid already knew. Peter already had baby names for God's sake. Tony made a silent promise to talk Pepper into one of the names on this list. 

Tony's hands trembled as he stared at Pepper, not knowing what to say. She brought him into another hug and shushed him. 

_Peter set a hand on Tony's shoulder, making him jump. He looked back at the kid's wide eyes and softened at the visible tear tracks and quivering lip. His hair was sweaty and his face was pale. He had on a big sweatshirt that would swallow him while given the chance and white basketball shorts._

_"What's wrong, kiddie?" Tony never called Peter that, but he knows it'll help. It'll break him down just enough for Tony to swoop in and fix him._

_Peter took a shaky breath. "I k-know it's s-stupid. I sh-shouldn't h-have even bothered." He balled his fists and looked at the ground ._

_Tony cupped the kid's cheeks gently and rubbed his chubby cheeks. "It's not stupid if it upsets you, Pete."_

_Peter's demeanor breaks and he pushes himself into Tony's arms. The arms he carved himself a place in, the ones that would hold him no matter what._  

_"I miss May." He sobs, pressing into Tony's chest._

"Peter would forgive you." Pepper says gently. 

 _Of course he would_ is what he wants to say, but he doesn't want to snap at her. He doesn't have the energy. 

Tony closes his eyes and tries to forget how Peter died in the place he felt safest- in Tony's arms. 

"I just don't understand... were you his dad?" Pepper swerved to his eye level and waited patiently for an answer

_"So," Tony said with amusement. He swirled the drink around in his glass and sat across from Peter from the table. "I heard you called me dad."_

_Peter's head snapped up so fast Tony would think he got whiplash. His face flushes and he was a stuttering mess. "I... N-No, no no! Happy- uh must have m-misheard me-"_

_Tony raised his eyebrows. "Who said anything about Happy?"_

_Peter groaned and covered his face with his hands. "Can you die from embarrassment?"_

_Tony chuckled and ruffled Peter's hair, but it was swatted away. Tony watched as Peter's face returned to it's normal color and he shakily combed his hair down._

_"Stop staring at me!" Peter whines._

_Tony can't help the smile that intruding his face. "What? I can't look at my son?"_

Tony took in a sharp breath and ground his teeth painfully. "No." 

Pepper let out a relieved breath but tried to hide it. 

"But he was my son." 


	3. I Had A Dream

Tony bolts up in his bed, wincing when Pepper rolls around to face him but doesn't wake up. He slips out, careful not to disturb his sleeping wife, and heads into the bathroom. 

Tony hasn't recognized himself since Peter's death. He feels empty, lifeless and he knows he shouldn't because he  _has_ a family. He has a family that Peter never got to be part of. A family that didn't really know about his dead son other than the occasional mention. Tony has his own daughter, his own biological daughter that is his world. 

Peter Parker is his galaxy. Peter was every star in the sky, he filled the role of every planet and solar system. Peter was every single atmosphere and gasp of oxygen that filled his lungs. His life was replenished while Peter's was withered in front of him. Peter Parker was the dirt under his feet and the most beautiful blue parts of the day skies. Peter was his grounding factor. He understood what being a hero was. He knew sacrifices, and Tony felt like he still didn't. One of the only lives Tony actually cared about was pried right from in and in front of him, particularly in his own arms.

"Tony?" Pepper mumbled from the other side of the door. "Is everything alright?" 

 _No._ Tony opens the doors and heads back into bed, not before Pepper interrogates him. 

"Is everything okay?" She whispers, running his smooth fingers across his beard. The touch makes him shiver. 

"I had a dream." Tony says back, willing his voice not to break. "We had a son."  

Pepper smiles softly and closes her eyes. "Lets not get too ahead of ourselves. May is quite a handful." 

 _May._ It was the first name on Peter's list, barely decipherable in his messy handwriting. Tony begged for this to be their daughter's name and when Pepper agreed he was overjoyed. Reading through the other names, there were better ones, but May was his favorite. Peter would have cried and thanked him and Tony would have been there to hold him and say,  _it's all for you_. 

"He was smart, Pepp. A genius. He had this- this hero complex that was undeniable." Tony chuckled softly. "He was adorable, jittery, a giant _nerd."_    

She smiles. "Sounds like someone I know." 

"He was so much better." The words were bitter on his tongue.  

Pepper smiled and closed her eyes again, Tony took this as a sign to shut up. 

_"Tony?"  Peter calls._

_"I'm here, Pete."_

_The kid was bouncing, his smile was sickeningly sweet. "Guess what?" He said, holding a ripped envelope._

_Tony tried not to let on but his heart was pounding. He knows whats coming. He raises his eyebrows and kills the smile hoarding his face._

_"I got accepted into MIT!' Peter practically yells, shoving the paper in Tony's face._

_"That's my boy!" Tony says, ruffling his hair and allowing the smile to take him over._

_Peter crushes him in a quick hug, the paper crumpling in his tight hold. "I couldn't have done it without you."_

Tony takes a deep breath, letting his eyes flutter shut. 

"His name was Peter Parker."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in case you don't understand, tony just dreamed of peter but won't tell pepper, so he suffers in silence

**Author's Note:**

> please comment fic recs, I am now officially out of ideas and probably not write unless someone tells me to! thanks!!


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